We’re Back!!! (YES WE ARE!!!)

Yes, it has been a while, I honestly don’t think anyone cares that much so I’ll try to continue where I left off, it’s amazing to see the old pages – a year back – and see nothing has changed, Neuro has the same spots, modron is still with the modroness (although a little heavier on the purse), bender still shags the unshagable, hadish’s still apathic and faggy still whining about playing with 3 players (BooHoo)…

Let’s give credit where it’s due – last few sessions built an atmosphere that was last seen a long time ago, there were the usual laughs and mishaps and that is why I write…

Magical Items (as portrayed in the modern world):

Belt of Passivity / Activity: this miraculous girdle appears to be a regular orthopedic apparatus, it is, however, an item of great power… when strapped (by pulling both straps simultaneously) it changes the wearers preference of gay sex (from active to passive and vice versa) removing the girdle is of no use once the transformation occurs – the wearer is completely reformed and has no idea of his former habits’ motivation. Such items have been known to break long time relationships, as the sexual chemistry is gone.

There is a way to reverse the effect, see Hat of Wonder.

Hat of Wonder: this is a seemingly normal hat that was treated to horrible substances for a whole day and remained intact (the perfect example is the “smile” hat that was worn by bender for a whole day). After the rough handling, the hat carries the special power to restore sanity and previous behavior patterns to the afflicted (even the effect of the Belt of Passivity / Activity is subject to this and some of the broken-hearted couples went looking for the rare hat for years). The cure is not without its price – the procedure used to enchant the item leaves it’s mark on the wearer, be it stench or discoloration of the scalp, something is bound to happen when you use something that was exposed to horrors of the underworld…

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WORE THAT HAT!!!

It was so orange, I’m telling you, between the coffee, the gayness and the orange hat, you looked like a cross breeding between Richard Simons and Carrot-Top…

You have to love how Yoav embraced his true nature – I mean, it truly bugged him when we imply he’s gay or that his mom will never forgive faggy for pushing him to the tattoo prowlers (or gay sex for that matter) – and now, he embraces it…

I just need to know one thing, how do you address your hands errr… sexual partners? As guys or girls? I just had a mental image of the friends bit with Joey and the jam – “put your hands together…”

After taking some criticism for not updating, I’d like to give you a cameo appearance, the hadish pages…

No mistake, Hadi has a lot to say…

Now seriously, I didn’t update cause I had a lot on my mind – the thing that troubled me most was the stupid car getting soaked every time it rained – you have no idea just dhow powerful such a thing is as a revenge – think about it, your character jumps into the saddle only to realize it’s soaked… My point? Why use elaborate spells to punish your foe – use a simple create water and it’ll do the trick…

What’s with the 2for1 pizza??? I know we’ll eat it again, but come on, 2for1? You puke and squirt that’s the 2 – what does the 1 stands for? Maybe they intend to say you puke and squirt for every 1…

I had a revelation, the only way to make good plans is to go with the moment – every time we tried to plan something it blew up in our faces (a reminder? The phasing dwarf…) – acting on instincts was perfect, besides, faggy has no idea of our intentions – it kind of reminds me of an old Mission Impossible episode where they caught a criminal who decides everything by random so no one will be able to capitalize on his habits…

A new segment, in which I shall ask you a simple question about the previous session – see how good you are – I like to call it:

Riddle of the week

What creature flies,

boils,

sparks up

and falls

all in 10 seconds?

Hint? it’s bold,

it’s wet

and I can’t remember the last time it held a trident…

You want another one? OK – I wrote this one in the forum but here it is again:

What’s common to my cat and Neuro?

Both didn't get any for the past 6 months…
They probably won't have any ever again – the cat being snipped, Neuro being Neuro...

Good Idea

Having sex.

Better Idea

Having sex regularly.

Best Idea

Having a steady girl to have sex with on a regular basis.

Bad Idea

Not having Sex.

Worse Idea

Having sex with a cramped back, spasms and painkillers.

Worst Idea

Having the obese experience with Shushi/Tobi/Kalanit/any other T-rex relative on the planet.

As Bad as it gets

Having sex while listening to bender farts, smelling his feet and putting a Kenny G CD to make the traumatic experience complete…